Title: Gratitude
Author: CrisisKris (kmatwood@shaw.ca)
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: SS/FW/GW
Summary: Severus helps get the Weasley twins out of a sticky situation, and they want to express their gratitude.
Disclaimer: I don't own these guys, but every day I thank the Universe and J.K. Rowling that they are around for me to play with.
Notes: Part of the Severus Snape Fuh-Q Fest (3rd wave). Response to the three-word challenge: "eruct", "micturition", and "internecine".
Spoilers: Minor spoilers for OotP.
Archiving: This site, all others please ask.
 

---

 

Seventh-year potions class with Gryffindors and Ravenclaws was quiet and peaceful for approximately five minutes. Then Lee Jordan began to belch. "Brawwp!" he said, then blushed bright red and covered his mouth. "Brwp!" he added from behind his hand. Snape looked over at his workstation, where Alicia Spinnet and Weasley numbers 4 and 5 were laughing to kill themselves. "Brawp!" Lee Jordon continued, glaring at his friends. Severus stood.

 

"Is there a problem, Mr. Jordan? Something you ate, perhaps?" he asked silkily, and all three of them jumped and quieted.

"No, sir," Jordan replied, burping once more. "More like something I -brawp, hic - drank." His eyes narrowed into thin daggers as he scowled at the other boys.

 

Severus smiled meanly. "I see," he said, turning to the others. "Messrs. Weasley," he leaned over the table. "Would you have anything to do with the fact that Mr. Jordan seems unable to control his urge to eruct?" One of them fidgeted; the other still looked like he was fighting a grin.

 

"Er - it's our term project, you see," the fidgety one responded.

 

"We wanted to make a burping potion, a gag, right?" the other one continued in the annoying manner of twins.

 

"And, er, Lee here offered to try it out," Lee's face darkened at that, and it was quite clear to Snape that Mr. Jordan had made no such offer.

 

"Is this true, Mr. Jordan?" he asked, hoping off-handedly that the boy would implicate his friends. Of course, he did not.

 

"Yes, sir," the afflicted teen replied, trying to contain another belch. The Weasleys flashed him two apologetic smiles.

 

Snape sighed. "Very well, I shall accompany you to the infirmary and we will endeavor to find an antidote. Forty points from Gryffindor for disturbing my class - and detention for you, Weasley."

 

"Er, which one, sir?" One of them asked.

 

"Both, of course," he replied. "Class is dismissed - come along, Mr. Jordan."

 

---

 

Snape marched the boy to the infirmary, feeling frustrated. Mr. Jordan was just the latest victim in a long string of practical jokes by the Weasley twins, and it was getting out of hand. Between his work for the order, his ‘work' for the Dark Lord, his pointless attempts at teaching that stupid brat Potter anything at all, and that dumb cunt Umbridge, his life was far more stressful than necessary. Dumbledore had done a great deal to keep the Weasleys out of Umbridge's way thus far, but he was overwhelmed as well, and it was only a matter of time before something blew up in everyone's faces - quite likely, knowing those two, literally.

 

He sighed, ushering the burping teen into Pomfrey's waiting room. He would speak to Arthur Weasley immediately.

 

Hopefully he could contain his sons, since no one else seemed able. A loud voice, nearly hysterical, broke through his thoughts. "I've been poisoned, I'm sure of it!" Snape looked up, startled. It was Umbridge's voice. I wish, he though fiercely.

 

"Calm down," Pomfrey replied, her voice even, although Snape, who had been on the receiving end of her care more times than he wished to count, could hear the strain of impatience in it. "What makes you think that?"

 

"Well, I don't know how else to explain it!" The other woman was clearly distraught. "This morning, I was about to...well, micturate..." she trailed off, seemingly embarrassed.

 

"Go on." Poppy's voice was flat.

 

"Well, my, er, nether regions were... green! They've gone green! Someone's poisoned me, I know it." There was a rustling noise, and then she added, "You see? That's not normal at all."

 

"Indeed." Severus fancied he heard a laugh contained in the Medi-witch's tone. "Well, not normal, but I've seen it before. It's the result of a Laughing Leprechaun Potion - one of Zonko's top sellers, if I recall."

 

"A potion!" Umbridge exclaimed, venom showing through her tone. Beside him, Mr. Jordan flinched in a most interesting way, a way that suggested to Severus that the young Gryffindor might know a thing or two about Umbridge's current affliction.

 

"Let's go, Mr. Jordan," he said gruffly, hauling the young man into the infirmary proper, even though the teenager's belches had really settled down to small hiccoughs, indicating that the potion was wearing off, and he probably didn't medical attention after all. Lee followed, looking pale.

 

Thankfully, Umbridge was fully dressed when the two men entered the room. Poppy was just handing her a little cup, remarking, "Now, speaking of micturition..." when the women realized they were not alone. To his great satisfaction, Umbridge flushed a deep red, and turned away.

 

"Professor, Madam Pomfrey," Snape said smoothly, impeccable as always. He caught Poppy's eye and they shared a repressed smirk.

 

"Professor Snape!" Umbridge said shortly. "Shouldn't you be teaching?"

 

"Mr. Jordan had an unfortunate accident," he replied, gesturing at the boy, who was trying valiantly not to cower in fear before the DADA professor.

 

"There seem to be a lot of mishaps with potions, lately," she snapped.

 

He spread his hands placatingly. "I refuse to take responsibility for Gryffindor incompetence," he replied.

 

"I don't think your students are incompetent, Professor," she said. "I think they are merely undisciplined."

 

"I don't know who you mean," he replied.

 

"Well, someone is obviously bright enough to reproduce Zonko's Laughing Leprechaun Potion. I know that no student has received a package from Zonko's since I arrived here, and I've taken precautions against anyone covertly acquiring anything from that useless prankster. That could only mean that someone reproduced the formula. Surely it isn't difficult to think of who that might be..." she raised her eyebrow at him in a gross approximation of his own expression.

 

Severus stared impassively back. "I've no idea what you are insinuating, Professor," he replied.

 

"Those Weasley twins!"

 

Beside him, Mr. Jordan had gone very still. This was his opportunity, of course - he knew that Weasley #4 was more than capable of reproducing the potion on his own, and when Weasley #5 chose to join him, they could reproduce just about any Zonko's product ever made. He knew because he'd supervised them as they did so. Pomfrey knew too, and she was watching him out of the corner of her eye, trying not to look too interested.

 

Umbridge would certainly put the Weasleys in their place...but then again, hearing of the witch's current plight had been the only highlight in an otherwise stressful and tiresome week. "I can assure you, Professor, that nothing remotely close to successful could be produced by a Weasley, regardless of the generation or the task," he replied coldly. Jordan and Pomfrey both let out a held breath, slowly, so Umbridge wouldn't see them.

 

For her part, the DADA professor looked like she was about to say something else, but the Medi-witch cut her off.

 

"Micturate, Professor," she said, and Umbridge flushed again before wheeling away. Snape allowed himself a small satisfied smile, and further allowed himself the generosity to share that smile with Pomfrey as the other witch disappeared into the lavatory. Then both adults turned to Mr. Jordan, who was staring at Snape with wide eyes and an open mouth.

 

"Now, what seems to be the problem with Mr. Jordan?" Poppy asked kindly.

 

Severus raised an eyebrow. "It seems that Mr. Jordan and Professor Umbridge share something in common," he replied. "They don't watch what they drink."

 

---

 

"I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't been there myself," Lee Jordan swore later that night, lounging in the Gryffindor common room with the twins and a few other seventh year students. "But he could have given you up and you would have been toast - she would have killed you, then expelled your ghosts!"

 

Fred and George looked at him thoughtfully. "You say Snape protected us," Fred said. Lee nodded.

 

"When he could have given us up." Lee nodded.

 

"Huh." Both boys looked thoughtfully into the fire, wearing mirrored expressions. After a moment they looked at each other and grinned. "I suppose we owe him, then," Fred said.

"Indeed. And we need to express our gratitude to the man." George agreed.

 

"Are you kidding?" Lee exclaimed. "Snape might not be the worst teacher at Hogwarts anymore, but he's still Snape! He'd use your blood for a potion if you tried to thank him for not ratting on you!"

 

George snorted. "Nonsense!" he exclaimed. "We're not afraid of Snape."

 

"You're not?"

 

"Nah," Fred stretched on the lounge, grinning. "I reckon he's a nice enough bloke once you get to know him. He's just got to loosen up a bit, is all."

 

"You - what?" The rest of their friends stared at the twins as if they were mad. They didn't notice, however, as they were too busy grinning like devils at each other.

 

"Oh yes," finished George. "And we know just how to loosen him, don't we, brother?"

 

---

 

Fred and George Weasley arrived for their detention with Professor Snape exactly on time. He was buried under piles of marking, and barely spared them a look before he set them to work scrubbing cauldrons. "He's far too tense," Fred whispered to his brother as they set to work. George looked over his shoulder at the professor. Snape's face was lined with tension, and the little crinkles around his eyes spoke of a growing headache. He stopped periodically in his marking to rub at a kink in his neck. As they watched, he sighed, set down his quill, and conjured up a cup of tea, which he sipped for a moment before picking up his marking once again.

 

"Time to set the plan in motion, brother," George said, "and not a moment too soon!" He stepped away from Fred and made a production out of knocking over a series of cauldrons, sending them crashing into the cabinet at the back of the room. A few vials toppled over and spilled their contents across the floor.

 

"Merlin's balls!" Snape roared, standing up and coming towards him. "Does your incompetence really extend to that degree?"

George stood before him, meek and apologetic, as the Potions master hurled insults at him and tried to salvage his ingredients. Meanwhile, Fred slipped over to the desk and unstoppered a small vial, tipping its contents into Snape's tea. He was back and helping pick up cauldrons before Snape even thought to begin yelling at him, too.

 

Finally, he stopped yelling and stomped back over to his desk. He massaged his neck once more and picked up his tea cup, taking a big gulp. Fred and George smiled at each other.

 

---

 

Severus Snape sat happily marking exams, taking great pains to keep his writing neat and clear as he jotted down such helpful comments as, "you're a fool to believe that you're any better than a Squib," and "a hippogriff could formulate a better theory than you," in blood-red ink. Periodically, he glanced up at the two boys currently serving their detention to ensure that they didn't destroy anything else. Neither of the Weasleys noticed him looking at them, so he allowed himself to look a little longer, because he was suddenly struck by how beautiful they were, red hair flaming against pale Irish skin, faces smooth and similar, white teeth flashing as they talked back and forth. Finishing each other sentences, of course, and mirroring each other's movements unconsciously, slim hands traveling deftly from scrub brush to cauldron to cloth to soap... Snape shook his head, feeling congested.

 

Getting maudlin, old man, he told himself, and turned back to his marking.

 

Five minutes later, he looked up again, ostensibly to rest his eyes, and caught sight of Fred caressing George's arm as he handed his brother a flannel. It was a touching, familiar gesture that spoke of an intimacy Snape had never experienced and only very rarely seen. It was almost sexual in its nature, going beyond the closeness he'd expected brothers to have. George smiled at Fred, lips pliant and plump, and something sparkled in Fred's eyes...

 

Wait a minute.

 

Severus sat up straighter, staring past the boys in growing horror. He could feel warmth coiling lazily in his belly, whispering to his groin, where his cock was beginning to stir in response. Yes, they were beautiful...What?! Beautiful?! And since when did Weasley numbers 4 and 5 become Fred and George? Severus stood and strode over to them, his face stern.

 

"What did you put in my tea?" he demanded. The teens looked up at him, pictures of innocence.

 

"What are you talking about, Professor?" Fred asked. He looped his arm around George's shoulder, caressing it seductively. George shivered and smiled. Snape grit his teeth.

 

"Do you take me for a fool, boys? I am quite aware of the effects of an aphrodisiac. I am quite aware that before your little stunt with the cauldrons, I did not feel this way. I am quite aware that I've just finished a cup of tea, and I have no doubt that you find this terribly amusing." He turned his back on them. "Detention is over. But if your little Gryffindor friends find out about this, I will ensure you serve your next one with Professor Umbridge. Now get out!" He was breathing heavily by this point, his cock achingly hard, and his hands kept wanting to travel upwards, to caress himself or to reach for the boys, he wasn't sure which.

 

Neither Weasley moved for a moment. This wasn't what they'd expected at all, although now that they thought of it, they didn't know what they had expected, really. Finally George got up and moved to stand in front of the professor. He saw the struggle in the other man's body, and eliminated the decision by reaching for Snape before Snape could decide where to put his hands. "It isn't a prank, Professor," he murmured, pulling the dark man close, grinding his hips against the Potions master's. "Do you feel me? We just want to say thank you for not turning us in to Umbridge."

 

"We want you," Fred echoed, moving to stand behind Severus, his own cock pressing against the older man's ass. "We don't want to laugh at you - we want to fuck you raw," he began trailing a series of kisses along Severus's nape as he said the last, and Snape shuddered, the potion in his veins commanding his body to respond.

 

"Goddamn you," he whispered, thrusting against George helplessly. "How could you do this to me?"

 

"Please trust us, Professor," George pleaded, reaching for the clasps on Severus's robe. "We have no intention of joking with you. We've been dreaming of you for a long time."

 

"You - the two of you, together...?" Severus managed to gasp out, although words were quite difficult at this point. His robes fell to the floor, followed closely by his shirt and trousers. 

 

 

George smiled delightedly when he realized Severus did not wear underwear.

 

Fred chuckled against the man's bare back. "Oh yes," he replied. "Would you like to see?"

 

"Very much," Severus's voice was hoarse. His mouth was dry. He let the twins lead him to a chair and sit him down, watching wide eyed as Fred undressed his brother, leaning down to tease one dark nipple into erection, and then the other. Gods... Severus reached down to stroke himself as Fred knelt before George and took the other boy into his mouth, suckling gently. Everyone's breathing increased. Fred licked up and down the other boy's length, then swallowed him down to his balls, tongue still moving along the base of George's cock.

 

George, for his part, began bucking against his brother's mouth, fucking it, muttering incoherently, his pale hands coming to rest in the fiery-red hair. After a few minutes, George stiffened and gave a cry, and Severus watched Fred's throat work rapidly, swallowing his brother's seed.

 

"Merlin," he whispered, and both boys turned to him. Severus's cock was weeping with need.

 

"Do you want to join us?" Fred invited, licking his lips.

"God yes!" Severus stood and came over to the boys, and then there were hands all over him, and mouths. He leaned over and kissed one of them hungrily, tongues battling and lips colliding, but then felt his head being turned the other way. Suddenly a new mouth was on him, tasting and probing.

 

"Hey!" A voice on his left cried. Severus opened his eyes and turned to see Fred with his hands on his hips. "I was kissing him."

 

"You weren't sharing!" George protested from his right. The two boys glared at each other.

 

Severus smiled. "As much as it pleases me to watch this internecine display," he purred, "I can think of much more... mutually satisfying activities." Both boys shivered at his voice.

"Indeed," said Fred, coming up behind him and caressing his ass, "So can I."

 

George dropped to his knees, turning away from the Potions master. "Fuck me, Severus," he commanded. He reached back and grasped one of Snape's hands, drawing the long, slender fingers into his mouth and sucking them. Severus gasped at the sensation and withdrew his hand, running his fingers between George's ass cheeks to the pucker between them. Slowly he worked one finger in, stroking it against the boy's prostate gland. George gasped in pleasure, his spent cock jumping to life again.

 

Severus gasped too, as he felt one of Fred's fingers move past his opening, mimicking his movements perfectly. He added another finger, and felt another finger fill him, scissoring gently.

 

"Please, gods, now!" George begged, and Severus agreed wholeheartedly. Pushing the boy before him to the floor, he knelt behind him and pushed through his ring, slowly impaling himself inside the red-haired teen. George breathed deeply, willing himself to relax, and then nodded for Snape to begin moving. He thrust, then pulled out, eliciting a groan from the boy. Fred's cock nudged his own hole, and he nodded, muttering a string of pleas and curses as Fred thrust in, matching Severus's rhythm.

 

He could no longer tell what was the potion coursing through him and what was his own desire. He thrust forward in wild abandon, fucking George with all his might, all the while groaning as Fred's thick cock filled him, pushing and pulling and building into a frenzy of need and want that he could not remember ever feeling before.

 

George, bearing the weight of both men, came first, pumping his own cock madly, humping the floor as he spurted hot come onto the stones beneath him. His ass contracted around Severus's cock and he cried out, falling into orgasm, his mind spinning helplessly as he filled George's chamber with his seed, and as he fell, he dimly heard Fred grunt and shout, and felt wetness shoot up inside him as well...

 

They drifted. After a while, George began to stir, shivering. "It's cold," he muttered, meaning the floor, and he sat up gingerly, shifting Severus onto his shoulder.

 

"No, it's perfect," Snape replied dreamily, only half aware of what was going on. He was drained and exhausted and the most relaxed he'd been in years.

 

"Yeah, it was," Fred agreed. They began to rouse themselves, gathering up clothes and casting healing and cleaning spells.

"You both have a detention to finish," he reminded them as he showed them the door. "And tomorrow night, I think we can manage without the potion." Fred and George smiled at him, and he allowed himself a small smile in return.

 

---

 

Less than a week later, the twins left school just moments before Umnbridge could beat them black and blue and expel them. Later that evening, three figures huddled under a "borrowed" invisibility cloak, breathing as quietly as they could. They stood just inside the door of the infirmary, where a distraught and desperate Dolores Umbridge was dropping her pants for a dispassionate Pomfrey, who was barely checking her frustration with the other woman.

 

The figures under the cloak turned into each other's shoulders to prevent themselves from snickering too loudly.

 

Umbridge's...nether regions were bright red. "A Laughing Cupid Potion," Pomfrey pronounced, improvising beautifully. In truth, she had never seen anything like it. "Really, Professor, you ought to be more careful. This school is full of Slytherins, you know."

 

"No Slytherin did this," Umbridge replied, her face as red as her bottom as she pulled up her trousers. "This was the work of those bloody Gryffindors!"

 

"The only Gryffindors I know who are capable of this kind of potion making have dropped out of school," Poppy replied. "You must be mistaken. Now - " she handed Umbridge the inevitable cup. "Micturate."

 

The figures slipped away chuckling softly. Once they were safely away from the infirmary, the invisibility cloak slipped off. "We'll return it on our way out," Fred mentioned.

 

 

"You better go soon. You don't want to risk getting caught here," Severus replied solemnly. He embraced first one, then the other Weasley, inhaling their scent, letting go unwillingly.

"We'll be back soon," George promised. They walked a ways in silence. "The red was a nice touch," George smiled at his lover.

 

"Yes, I quite liked it," Fred agreed.

 

Severus smiled, wrapping his arms around his young lovers' shoulders. "Thank you," he murmured, walking them to the Great Hall. "I was quite inspired."

 

Two beautiful red-haired men smiled at him, kissed him once each, and jogged away. Severus felt a little pang as he watched them go, but dismissed it. He turned towards his dungeons and began the slow descent. They'll be back, he reminded himself. And in the mean time, there were so many colors that he hadn't perfected yet... and so much beyond just discoloration, for someone who knew what they were doing... Severus grinned in the darkness. He had nearly forgotten how satisfying it was to get the best of someone truly deserving - and he had the twins to thank for reawakening this part of him.

 

Next time they came by, he'd show them just how grateful he was.

END